Vibrators

Wahl 4120-600 by Wahl

My purchase of the Wahl 4120-600 is a testament to the fact that you should never shop horny.

I read Epiphora’s note at the bottom of the Wahl review. She TOLD her readers not to buy the new one. But some awful mix of disbelief and hope led me to believe that maybe, MAYBE it wouldn’t be so bad. I wanted so badly to try the Wahl, and the good version just wasn’t available. So, I got the updated version.screen-shot-2017-02-20-at-10-12-27-am

What a fucking joke.

“The brand used by professional (masturbators) since 1919” no longer sells the model of their product that professional masturbators use. Never have I ever spent $15 so poorly. I’ve bought cheaper and more fulfilling orgasms from Screaming O. Not only did the 4120-600 (I don’t want to call this thing the Wahl, because you might get confused and buy it which would be a terrible decision) not satisfy my genitals, I doubt it would satisfy ANY achy body part on its first speed. It could help a muscle or two on its second speed, but it’s not worth it for just the one speed.

I know of watch battery bullet vibes with more power on their first speed at half the cost, and this thing plugs into the wall. A reasonable assumption would be that plugging into the wall would add power to a vibrator. For a contraption that plugs into the wall, the 4120-600 is just so damn pathetic.

It looks as if I will never get to try the good version. I don’t want readers to lose hope, but … there is very little hope. After trying to use this thing, my world got a little grayer. I waited too long to hop on the Wahl train, and instead ended up jumping into the leftover exhaust.

The first speed is SO BAD. Buzzy, whiny, weak. You could practically call this first speed the Dog Whistle Setting, with that awful sound it makes. At least the PVC attachments aren’t completely awful. However, while the others slip into place easily, the spot-treatment attachment is a bugger to try and put on. Decent attachments won’t help this vibrator though; whatever attachment I tried, I just felt disappointed.

The attachments look straight out of the beginning of the Age of Vibrators. If anything needed to be changed from the good version, it should have been making the attachments silicone or ABS plastic, or having it in colors besides a boring grey.

I also found I didn’t quite know how to hold this vibrator. The shape looks like it would be easy to hold, but all the weight is in the head of the vibrator, so the shape works against me. It’s easier to hold it by the head, but then the handle gets in the way.

The good news? The packaging and product seem to be gender neutral. The nine foot cord is an improvement over the Magic Wand Original’s six foot cord, and the whole thing weighs less. That’s about it. Even if you just want a basic body massager, don’t bother.

WHY, Wahl, WHY?!

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