Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation by Satisfyer

Another day, another Satisfyer review. While, yes, I realize that this is only the second review I’ve written for them, it’s also the fourth toy I’ve tried, one of which has already been discontinued, though the review was posted within the last few months.

I appreciate that Satisfyer is always working to get new models out on the market; Screen Shot 2017-08-14 at 9.41.12 PMhowever, rather than creating something new and original, they’ve opted to continue revamping an idea taken from another company, and discontinuing models that are not new. Basically, by the  time a review for a toy is written, it doesn’t exist anymore, or will be gone soon.

With that said, onto my review of the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation. For the purposes of this review, I will also be writing about the Satisfyer Pro 2, so if you’ve already tried it, you’ll have something to compare it to.

The Satisfyer (and Womanizer) lines use pressurized air pulses to deliver pinpoint, thuddy vibrations to the clit (or other body parts that like pinpoint, thuddy vibrations). They all come in basic cardboard packaging and have interchangeable magnetic chargers that hold onto the toys well, with the exception of the Satisfyer 2, which is battery powered (there have been other battery-powered options, but I have not tried them, and I think most have already been discontinued). Like past models, the Next Generation has 11 settings, none of which are pulsations. Screen Shot 2017-08-19 at 8.35.41 PM

Side-by-side, the Pro 2 and the Next Generation look almost identical, with the exception of button and nozzle size. While the initial opening on each nozzle is the same size, the Pro 2 nozzle is smaller on the inside, whereas the Next Generation is the same size the whole way through. While the Next Generation nozzle appears to be much larger, it is actually the same size as the Pro 2. In use, whether or not you know the exact location of your clit, it can be difficult to position the nozzle directly onto it. If it’s your first time with air pulse sensation, I would actually suggest placing it next to your clit first, as (in my case) the sensation is often far too pinpoint on my clit.

The most notable difference between the models when looking at them is the buttons, which have been upgraded on the Next Generation. While the Pro 2 had a settings button that simply went from the weakest to the strongest setting and back (a.k.a. ladder function, the Next Generation allows the user to go up in strength and, if it’s too strong, go back down to previous settings rather than cycling through every setting on the toy.Screen Shot 2017-08-19 at 8.35.17 PM

Beyond aesthetics, changes have been made to the operation of the toy as well. With a Pro 2 to each ear, I could tell immediately that the Next Generation is significantly quieter. The Pro 2 sounds “like an old truck idling out in the cold”, while the Next Gen pulses are like a gentle thrumming. Air pulse toys are much quieter when on the clit rather than in open air, though in my last review, the sound of the toys was still loud enough in use to make me a bit anxious about being overheard.

In use, too, there is a significant difference. While I consider air pulse sensations more on a scale of thuddiness rather than a scale of buzzy to rumbly, the Pro 2 feels extremely buzzy next to the heavy thuds of the Next Generation. In my last review, I described various vibrations and thuddy sensations:

“There are three main kinds of vibration in sex toys: buzzy (think of the shallow vibrations of your phone), rumbly (the deeper vibration of a video game controller), and the thuddy vibrations of these pulsators, which I can only compare to someone boxing my clit.”

In the case of the Next Generation, a world champion boxer is going to town on my clit … and I don’t like it.

The Pro 2 was my least favorite of the three in my original review due to the button and nozzle size. The Next Generation still doesn’t beat out my favorite (the Satisfyer 2), but not because of the buttons (which are now the best of any Satisfyer I’ve tried) or the nozzle (the size is much better for my use than the Pro 2). This model is quite simply far too much for my clit, which I’ve previously labeled as a “clit of titanium.”

While I certainly do not speak for anyone but myself, the amount of power that my clit can take when it comes to toys makes me hesitant to suggest the Next Generation model for anyone. Then again, while I have a clit of titanium, I am not a pinpoint princess. I enjoy both the broad head of the Magic Wand and the pinpoint head of the Tango, but the Satisfyer’s thuddy pinpoint is a different sensation entirely, so it could be that my clit just doesn’t want to hang around the boxing ring in such a small space.

I received this product from Satisfyer in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. You can purchase the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation from Luvoqa for $70. This model is only available in the color shown.

To finish off this review, I would like to share a story about the importance of cleaning
toys before use: (Content Warning: bugs)

Things can hide inside the nozzles of air pulse toys. I almost had a terrifying experience. Our room has very few outlets, so we use a power strip, which is filled mostly with Screen Shot 2017-08-14 at 9.41.30 PMtelevision and video game cords, leaving one spot for me to charge my toys. Because of the location of the power strip, my toys hang out on the floor while charging.

Currently, we have an infestation of assassin nymphs, which are bugs that kind of resemble spiders/tiny lobsters that camouflage themselves in dust and hurt like hell when they bite (so I’ve read. Luckily I have no experience). When I picked up my Satisfyer off the floor to get ready to take notes for a review, I found one of the assassin nymphs inside the nozzle of the Satisfyer.

Thank goodness I checked inside the nozzle first.

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