Lubricant Samples

Note: ***** = Star Rating


 

We-Vibe Lube by Pjur *****

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 7.26.02 PM.pngType: water-based

Appearance, Design, Advertising: A bit on the ‘girly’ side, what with the curvy designs in blue watercolor, but no immediately noticeable gendered language. Also, no notch. I had to resort to scissors, which is not ideal. 

Ingredients: Luckily I didn’t use this before glancing at the ingredients. I became suspicious of the lube after taste testing and discovering the strong sweet taste. There’s glycerin in this, so it’s unsafe for bodies. 

  • Aqua
  • Glycerin (used in the food industry as a sweetener and moistener)
  • Xanthan gum (natural plant-based thickener and stabilizer)
  • Benzyl alcohol (aromatic alcohol)
  • Sodium benzoate (preservative)
  • Potassium sorbate (natural, non-toxic, non-irritating, non-sensitizing preservative)
  • Citric acid (natural anti-fungal that extends shelf life)

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 7.33.50 PMTaste, Smell, Use: No smell, but a very sweet taste that tipped me off that something wasn’t right (glycerin!!). So, I did not use this product. However, I took my usual dick pic with it, and it was a surprising, slimy texture, something between watery and gel-like. I liked it. On my fingers, it was slippery and lasted a good amount of time. 


Blossom Organics *****

Screen Shot 2018-06-10 at 8.53.52 PMType: water-based

Appearance, Design, Advertising: Purple and feminine. Has a notch to open the package. I screwed up opening two of my three samples; the plastic underlayer refused to let me fully open the sample, making it difficult to get the lubricant out.

Ingredients: There’s a lot of sugary, syrupy things in this. Because of this, I don’t recommend using it unless you don’t have other options.

  • Organic aloe barbadensis leaf extract (known for healing, soothing, moisturizing properties)
  • Sorbitol (sugar alcohol usually made from corn syrup)
  • Hydroxyethylcellulose (derived from cellulose, used as thickening agent)
  • Allantoin (reportedly provides healing, soothing, and anti-irritating properties)
  • Lactic acid (colorless syrupy organic acid)
  • Tocopherol (Vitamin E)
  • Potassium sorbate (natural, non-toxic, non-irritating, non-sensitizing preservative)
  • Organic Stevia Rebaudiana Extract (artificial sweetener)
  • Hyaluronic Acid (skin care and dietary supplement)
  • Organic paeonia albiflora (peony) root extract (sensual botanical extract)
  • Organic passiflora incarnate flower extract (sensual botanical extract)

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 8.15.35 PM.pngTaste, Smell, Use: No smell, sweet, pleasant taste that would be excellent for blow jobs. It’s on the thick side, and I really enjoyed using this lube. Too bad there’s so much sugar.


Sensuva Aqua Erosense *****

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 8.30.10 PM.pngType: water-based

Appearance, Design, Advertising: Not overly feminine. The notch doesn’t give me any difficulties. 

Ingredients:

  • Certified organic aloe vera juice (aloe barbadensis)
  • Water
  • Cellulose
  • Propanediol (preservative, moisturizer)
  • Potassium sorbate (preservative)
  • Sodium benzoate (preservative)
  • Citric acid
  • Natural flavors

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 8.34.51 PM.pngTaste, Smell, Use: No scent, and a sweetish taste, similar to Jell-O with less sugar. Average in use, with watery texture and ability to stay wet for a bit, rather than drying out immediately.


Good Clean Love *****

Screen Shot 2018-06-12 at 10.04.32 PMType: water-based

Appearance, Design, Advertising: Easy open packet that’s smaller at the top in order to have better portion control. Advertising appeals to people who love organic.

Ingredients: Same ingredients for both lubes, which makes zero sense, as one of them is scented.

  • Organic aloe barbadensis leaf juice (healing, soothing, moisturizing properties, creates lube that “perfectly” mimics natural feminine moisture [because all feminine moisture is the same, and because lube is gendered obviously. But not really. Stop doing this, lube companies.])
  • Xanthan gum (natural plant-based thickener and stabilizer)
  • Agar (called Agar Agar on the website. Natural thickener derived from seaweed, provides extra glide)
  • Lactic acid (helps maintain optimal pH, promotes healthy lactobacilli balance)
  • Potassium sorbate (preservative)
  • Sodium benzoate (preservative)
  • Natural flavor (derived from certified organic plants)
  • Hydroxyethylcelluose (?) (derived from cellulose, used as thickening agent)
Screen Shot 2018-06-16 at 7.08.41 PM.png
Left: Good Clean Love Cinnamon Vanilla/Guilty Pleasure (CV/GP) sample packet. Left Middle: Good Clean Love Almost Naked sample packet. Right Middle: CV/GP. Right: Almost Naked

Taste, Smell, Use: Cinnamon Vanilla/ Guilty Pleasure has a warm vanilla scent, while Almost Naked has a lighter, sugary-sweet scent. Both are tasteless and lettuce-y.  I felt a stingy sensation, quite possibly as a result of pH levels.


Aloe Cadabra *****

Screen Shot 2018-06-13 at 12.43.07 PM.pngType: water-based

Appearance, Design, Advertising: Not a super professional look, just a plain white packet with stickers on it. There’s a woman in water on the front, but it doesn’t have a particularly gendered look to it over all. The packet is fully stuffed with lube, the packet almost looks ready to burst. This will allow for lots of testing before deciding whether you want to purchase a larger amount. There was a kind of line where I tore the package open, but it has no distinct notches. It was easy to tear open, like paper, but also easy to control the size of the opening I made. There is a peel-off information packet on the back, which is filled with advertising, the ingredient list, directions (don’t use with polyurethane condoms), and the usual warning to see a doctor if you experience discomfort. It also includes a list of possible scents or flavors.

Ingredients: Nothing seems amiss with the ingredients! Unlike Blossom Organics, there isn’t any stevia, sugar alcohol, or syrupy things.

  • Organic aloe barbadensis leaf juice (reconstituted, known for healing, soothing, moisturizing properties)
  • Mixed tocopherols (Vitamin E oil)
  • Xanthan gum (polysaccharide, food additive, thickening agent and stabilizer to prevent ingredients from separating)
  • Citric acid
  • Sodium benzoate (preservative)
  • Potassium sorbate (preservative)

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 8.17.57 PM.pngTaste, Smell, Use: Very thick out of the packet, doesn’t spill everywhere like when opening a packet of a more watery lube.The lube is gel-like and cloudy, with no distinct smell. It has a slightly bitter taste, I would not recommend this lube for blow jobs. In use, it was fantastic. After letting it sit for a minute, it was still sufficiently wet.


FeMani Wellness Smooth Touch *****

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 7.25.39 PM.pngType: silicone-based

Appearance, Design, Advertising: Based on the name, it’s very (unnecessarily) gendered. Comes in a silvery package, and for some reason the company listed the ingredients under the directions, in the same print and the same paragraph as the directions, which is exactly where you want ingredients to be: unnoticeable to the eye. There’s a tiny little notch on the left hand side that someone with worse eyes than I would not be able to find. 

Ingredients: I feel that FeMani was ill prepared in their ingredients list placement and having a hard-to-find notch. Get back to the drawing board! Luckily, it’s really hard to screw up silicone lube. 

  • Dimethicone
  • Dimethiconol

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 7.56.14 PM.pngTaste, Smell, Use: No scent. Tastes like mineral oil. Feels thicker than Sliquid or Uberlube silicone lubes. 


Sensuva Handi Pop Edible Hand Job Massage Gel *****

Screen Shot 2018-06-16 at 7.24.36 PM.pngType: water-based

Appearance, Design, Advertising: There is no notch or anything to help tear open the package, so I had to scissors. Colorful, advertised for use on penises by whomever decides to blow. After testing this, I’m of the mind that genitals really, really don’t need to taste like candy. They shouldn’t taste like candy. I don’t like candy genitalia. 

Ingredients: Far too many of them. I did my best to Google some of these, but Dr. Google does not always speak plain English. A.K.A. I don’t like the ingredients, and of those that I recognize, many are completely unnecessary. 

  • Water
  • Dimethicone (silicone, non-toxic and non-flammable)
  • Melaleuca altemifolia (tea tree) leaf oil
  • Propylene glycol (a kind of antifreeze that is “generally recognized as safe” and has hydrating properties)Screen Shot 2018-06-16 at 7.38.48 PM
  • Cellulose
  • Ptychopetalum olacoides (muira puama; traditionally used to treat impotence and so many other things)
  • Epimedium (horny goat weed)
  • Polyacrylate (has the ability to soak several times its mass in water)
  • Polyisobutene (binder, film former, and nonaqueous viscosity-increasing agent)
  • Polysorbate (solubilizes essential oils into water-based products)
  • Gluconolactone (contains skin conditioning properties)
  • Sodium benzoate (preservative)
  • Potassium sorbate (preservative)
  • Natural & artificial flavors

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 7.59.12 PMTaste, Smell, Use: The first taste was sweet, and very much like the labeled flavor. The second and third tastes were much like the listed flavor, but similarly sweet to the first lube. Every lube after that started to taste the same: oversweet, and the foreplay for a stomach ache. Sweet smell, each lube was a different cloudy color, and each dried up within a minute of use (during a hand job, because my tongue was sick of the taste). The consistency was similar to shampoo (a bit thick, and very drippy).


Uberlube *****

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 8.08.41 PM.pngType: silicone-based

Appearance, Design, Advertising: Packaged in both sample packets and travel containers! The travel container has a cap that you pop out. If you don’t use all the lube, pop the top back on. No worries, the cap won’t pop out on it’s own. The sample pack has a smaller opening on top than the rest of the package, and reminds the consumer to “start with a little.”

Ingredients:

  • Dimethicone (silicone, non-toxic and non-flammable)
  • Dimethiconol (silicone gum used in cosmetics)
  • Cyclopentasiloxane (organosilicon compound used in cosmetics)

 

 

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 8.05.15 PM.pngTaste, Smell, Use: No scent; mineral oil taste. Long lasting and great in the shower. For a more thorough review, see my previous post

Find these samples and more at your friendly local sex shop! These sample were provided to me through product purchase, handouts at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, and Erotique

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