Hello! I am Veronica Lea. I am an anxious, chronically ill cis woman headed into my mid-twenties. I am a Hufflepuff who inhabits used book stores and has too many board games. In my downtime, I like to battle the patriarchy through masturbation and sex-positive feminism. This blog will explore sex toys, masturbation, literature, and sex and chronic illness.
My clit isn’t afraid to play rough. I am a power queen with a clitoris of titanium. Nothing less than the We-Vibe Tango’s second speed can satisfy it. I can masturbate with the Magic Wand for 10 minutes on it’s first setting without orgasming.
My vagina, on the other hand, is far less picky about vibrations. The lowest setting on internal vibrators is usually adequate. My g-spot isn’t well-known by me; I call it the g-zone, as I haven’t found a “spot.” I am better acquainted with my posterior fornix than my anterior fornix. I have also discovered a preference for very firm toys over very soft ones; the ever-popular VixSkin did not work for me.
My labia minor are very large, hanging far past my labia majora. Because of this, I sympathize with people who adjust their testicles in public. I often adjust my labia minora before any kind of insertion, as they get caught and get in the way.
Different areas of my vagina are stimulated in different positions by different insertables. The way I use one insertable may be vastly different from the way I use another, based solely on their size or shape. There is also an area between my vulva and my belly button that loves pressure when I’m turned on.
A health condition has lead me to be very careful when handling butt toys, so I am picky about which toys I use. My butt prefers stainless steel or glass, because it doesn’t have any chance of drag, unlike some silicone. My butt is a beginner in size, and will likely never advance past intermediate toys.
I have a titanium rod in my spine which inhibits my flexibility, and has played an integral part in how I perceive my body. Ulcerative colitis dictates the way I approach anal play, as mentioned above. Experiencing a flare leaves me unlikely to take a chance on butt toys, as my bathroom needs are unpredictable, and pulling out a plug may lead to a messy situation. Like my spine, it has played a large part in how I feel about myself and my body.
I use Mirena, an intrauterine birth control device which has stopped me from having a period, and has provided relief from bleeding issues. I used to bleed after masturbation, sex, and orgasms, which was really hard to deal with. I have nothing less than the utmost respect for those who embrace their periods, but I am unfortunately not one of those people.
As far as mental health, I deal with a lot of anxiety. I am easily stressed about things both big and small, and tend to experience feelings of worthlessness. I am not currently on medication. This is due in part to a refusal by doctors to address or recognize the extent of my anxiety, and in part due to my worries about how anti-anxiety meds will affect my life.
I will be an anonymous writer on this blog, for now at least. Anonymity is a topic I am forever feeling unsettled about. I personally love to talk about my work, and want people to know what I do. I want people to know that it’s okay to talk about and engage in sexual activity, that there is no shame in sexual pleasure.
On the other hand, the fact is that this kind of work is very taboo. I do not know what knowledge of this blog would do to or for me when searching for a more permanent job, or when applying for grad school. For the sake of my current career, I feel the need to keep the blog out of my public life, however much I may resent doing so.
I am uncomfortable with my anonymity; it was not my choice. Rather, it was society’s choice.
Inspiration and Work
Sophomore year of college, I enrolled in Human Sexuality and Contemporary Issues in Human Sexuality. I was curious about sex; I wanted to learn about the stuff my parents shamed me for. These classes lead me into a passionate love affair with sexuality, which landed me a job at the local sex toy shop. I started reading reviews, and eventually got an internship with the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health.
At this point in my life, I thought about blogging. The ultimate question was, why not? I had a blogger friend, I had a pile of sex toys to start out with, and I loved changing people’s minds about sex, informing them about ethical companies and popular toys for particular pleasures.